February 2008, by Alice.

I had just returned from a two-week trip exploring Europe with some friends, and after a week of inclement weather and wet attire, I took to my bed for 36 hours with a tenacious and exhausting fever. I was sapped of all strength, even to get up and eat; what little I had was just enough to check my email.

In those days, I frequently conversed with my internet penpal, an older devoutly Catholic man by the name of Steve. One fateful day at the end of January, he sent me an email saying that he had gone to church after work to pray, and that he had felt strongly in his heart to pray that I would meet someone soon. I laughingly dismissed it at the time, but as Valentine's Day drew near, my mind kept returning to that strangely persistent email.

Fat chance of that, I thought as I lay alone in my room with a raging fever. I don't need a man anyway; I need God and a bible study. With that in mind, I went to browse my church's website for available studies. It was then that I found out about a group that met in my city, led by a gentleman named Brad Rhein. I briefly examined his avatar. He looked like a quirky and friendly person, but what drew me was that they were studying the Book of Ecclesiastes—my all-time favorite book in the Bible, and very timely to where I was in life...

8 All things are wearisome,
more than one can say.
The eye never has enough of seeing,
nor the ear its fill of hearing.

According to the website, they were having their first meeting that very day, but I could find no other information regarding location. I shall call Mr. Rhein and join their group, I thought to myself, as soon as I'm not contagious...

February 2008, by Brad

So, it was February of 2008 and just about time for the spring semester of NCC small groups, one of which I host and lead. I was very excited; the topic was the book of Ecclesiastes. Now, Ecclesiastes just happened to be the book that God really caught my attention with back when I was a sophomore in college, and the words continue to captivate my mind. For the last 2 months or so, I had been dreaming and reading and meditating about it all and was looking forward to discussing how God moves in our lives, even when it seems like life is just chasing after wind!

The night of the first meeting I was frantically cleaning the place, as usual, when the phone rings with an unknown caller. I pick it up and it's some girl named Alice calling about the group, the one which was meeting in approximately one hour! I give her the info, thinking about how this is the first time someone has ever called about the group, not to mention it was the night of! Otherwise, it's very common for people to contact me about joining the group. Some show up. Some don't. Out of the people who actually show up, maybe half keep coming for some reason. Typical situation. See you next week Alice...perhaps.

by Alice.

Two weeks later, I had recovered and gone back to work.

As it happened, my shift work ended about 30 minutes prior to the start of study. All I knew was that it was located roughly somewhere near the plaza with that one cafe/bookstore that had free wifi. I drove there. I exited the freeway. And then I made five loops around the highway overpass, completely lost and confused by the whereabouts of his neighborhood.

Second week = FAIL. I drove home, feeling very sad and defeated.

by Brad

She shows up three weeks later. By then it has become apparent that this coed group is mainly guys. It's going well, it's just all guys. Alice shows up, bringing cookies that she made, and upon realizing that she will in fact be the only girl, I walk to the next room in a panic to call some girls to find out where they are and hurry get over here! None are coming. But things are fine and I note that Alice contributes some great thoughts, listens actively, laughs freely, encourages others and is wearing red converse, not to mention she can bake a nice cookie! Kahlua coffee if I recall correctly. I was impressed!

by Alice

1. Brad was much, much taller than his picture let on.

2. There were a lot of guys in this otherwise co-ed bible study. Not like I wasn't used to being the only girl Ð throughout elementary school and college, I had gotten used to being in a low ratio of women to men; I was just very surprised that out of the myriad of choices available on the church website, I would yet again pick one dominated by guys.

3. Actually, I baked Rachel Ray's Kahlua-chocolate-chunk cookies. The recipe is available here. They taste fabulous.

The Proposal

by Brad

I wanted to propose on Friday but there were issues: I called her father's work phone at night on Thursday night and Alice stayed up all night working on her sister's senior ad and, therefore, slept all evening on Friday. Apparently Alice's father's work number is listed under "dad" and his cell number does not appear at all because it used to be her number. Haha, Alice, that's very funny.

I would have my chance to speak with her father the following night, after trading emails with him during the day and obtaining the Chang household home telephone number. I called him on the way to Adam's place and we had a nice friendly fourteen minute and fifty-seven second conversation. Somewhere in there I asked him about marrying Alice, and he was okay with it!

by Alice

Brad and I actually never really talked directly about getting married. But we had somehow established early in the relationship that neither of us liked dating casually. And when we talked about the friends who were getting married, or the stories that others had shared about their lives and their relationships, it was somehow apparent that we were really talking about us. One of the traits I most admire about Bradley is that his words and his actions are pretty consistent, so those lighthearted conversations really said a lot.

Through the eight months of making dinner, taking road trips, and spending time with friends, we made fascinating discoveries of our similarities (e.g., neither of us ever use butter! And both of us voted for the same guy!). Even more fascinating, though, were the ways in which our differences potentially complemented each other (e.g., I'm a night person; he is not).

Yet, when my parents asked whether or not he had ever talked about getting married, I was unsure of what to say. "No, not really." I didn't know when he was going to ask, but I was fairly confident that he would.

by Brad

So, I had the ring. I had been practicing a song. This song appeared in my head when I woke up the Saturday before and so I jumped out of bed and wrote it down on the back of an envelope. It was perfect, and the music to go along with the words would certainly rock. Also, this song happily narrowed down my list of proposal ideas from about seven to one. Nice!

My goal was to maximize the shock factor. I hoped to have a regular date night, or not even a date night necessarily, just a regular night of hanging out. Then, I'd casually grab the guitar and play this song followed by slipping the ring on her finger. Haha, and yay we're engaged!! So I invited her over to make dinner. There were no plans in particular; we're spontaneous sometimes. We cooked something for dinner, a dinner which neither of us can remember, and then after some chatting, we settled in to watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Nothing out of the ordinary. Even I am forgetting that this night will be a little different.

As the credits roll I glance at the clock. 11:48pm. Hmmm, oh yeah I was going to propose and now it's getting late and she's falling asleep!! I slowly stand and begin turning on some lights, offering her some more tea and joking around a little as she wakes up. After a couple of minutes, I casually grab the electric guitar, which is actually unusual because the acoustic is my favorite. I joke around a bit more and she suggests plugging it into the amp. Okay, well I haven't really practiced singing this song over the amplifier but I'll try. So I play it. The song is not subtle; she figures it out by the first or second line and continues sitting there, very still, with a smile on her face. The song ends in "will you marry me" kind of over an over at which point she says yes, perhaps thinking that she would have to answer in order for me to stop! Anyway, she was shocked and wordless for about the next 10 minutes. I just laughed and hugged her.